Lists of 10

As a writer, you already know about the list of 10. You can use it to brainstorm what a character might say or do next. It could help you find a direction for the plot when you’re stuck. It can also help you keep your cool in the summer.

Case in point: I’m visiting family right now for a few weeks. Most of both my family and my husband’s family live in the same area, as well as quite a few of our friends from college. Convenient…and chaotic. I haven’t gotten enough sleep, have seen few of the local sights, and most certainly haven’t written anything. While I love being around people, I’m the kind of person who needs some quiet time alone to emotionally refuel.

Yesterday I struggled to keep going all day long, visiting with several groups of people and trying to give them my attention, my love, and my sense of humor. By dinnertime, I needed a shot in the arm. I was tired and hungry, with hours of daylight and socializing ahead. (I’d forgotten that it doesn’t get dark in the summer here until after 9pm!) It came to my mind that I would feel better if I made a list of 10 things to be grateful for or happy about. By the fifth item, I was already feeling much better. Here’s what cheered me up:

1. I had 2 hours of alone time ahead of me to eat dinner and write this blog.

2. On the way back to the motel, I stopped at Mabel’s – famous for their pie – and bought a thick slice of yummy, homemade blueberry pie.

3. Near Mabel’s was a car painted like the General Lee from Dukes of Hazzard, so I stopped and got a picture. (It’s Cherry Festival time here, and Monday there was a car show.)

4. My aunt who is in the hospital is getting better. (I finally stopped fixating on myself for half a second here!)

5. I spent some fun quality time with my “little” sister. No matter how old we are, she’ll always have that loving designation.

6. I did something nice for my husband – all our laundry at the laundry mat – so he could spend time with one of our friends. It made me feel good – and I got to read for a few minutes! (I’m on Book 4 of The Dresden Files and loving it!)

7. One of our friends left a message that we should have a little party at her house and invite the people we haven’t been able to see yet. That will make our chaotic week a little easier.

8. No matter how tired I am, I’m so grateful we get to spend this month seeing so many people, spending a fair amount of time with them, and making sure they know we love them.

9. Though we packed for the weather that was forecasted, we aren’t properly dressed for the weather that actually happened. (Welcome to Michigan!) But we now have our one pair of jeans clean again, and it’s sort of fun to wear our Disneyland sweatshirts with shorts and sandals and have cold toes and fingers. (I can’t explain it – it just reminds me of when this was home.)

10. God always reminds me how to get out of a funk – be grateful. Remember the things that make you happy. Be more grateful. It always works, and I’m grateful it does.

To be honest, I barely got to the fifth item before I stopped making the list. I felt better “enough” to trudge through the next few hours. But when I was writing this, I thought I should make a real list of 10 since I’m suggesting you do it. Now I feel even better than when I’d stopped at five.

What about you? Kids making you crazy yet? Tired of driving everywhere and not getting much writing done? Wishing you hadn’t told the family to go get ice cream without you because you needed to write more than you needed to be with them? Yesterday I wanted to be with friends as much as I wanted to be alone. My internal struggle (I always think of my characters when I recognize my own internal struggles!) built up tension and conflict that I couldn’t easily get rid of. So I made a list of 10.

And I felt better. From a character perspective, my mood became more Kitty-like (read “happy and easy to get along with”). From a plot perspective, I made it through the night relaxed and happy to hang out with friends, even though once again it was an incredibly late night. Most importantly, from a perspective of peace and joy, a gratitude adjustment was just what I needed.