The Heart of my Desire

          I’m sure you are tired of me angsting about not writing. Cheer up, no more angst! Life is still busy and I’m still struggling to work myself back into a writing routine, but the confusion of what to write and the guilt of not writing is gone. (I really need to listen to my moods. They tell me so much about what is going on is my mind/soul.) I needed, and still need, some space away from my fiction. I’m sure I will be back to dreaming up stories again, but for now my focus is on my non-fiction projects.

          What brought about the change, helped me see clearly through to a decision? Well, as you know from my last post, I was already headed in that direction. Then this past weekend I attended a simulcast Bible study. (Where the teacher, Beth Moore, taught from one place, a church in Wisconsin, and it was broadcast to sites all over the country and world.)

          The talk focused on Psalm 37:4 “Commit your way to the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart,” with emphasis on the last part of the verse. Beth Moore made several points, but one was particularly relevant to my writing. She pointed out that the Lord wants to give us the desires of our hearts. If we are His, if we acknowledge Him as Father and Savior, He wants us happy. He wants to give us those things we desire. He does not withhold any good thing from those who love Him.

          However, He will not give us something if His glory or our destiny would be harmed in the process. In those cases, He looks to the heart of those desires, not the stated desire. She suggested that if we had a sustained desire and just weren’t getting what we wanted, perhaps God was addressing the heart, the reason beneath that desire. Perhaps the longing itself was accomplishing something much more important, addressing the true heart of the desire.

          That made me start examining what I really wanted in regards to my writing. I realized that most of all, I want to influence others, help them or encourage them in some way. There was a time when my fiction addressed that desire, when creating stories that others might read thrilled me and kept me producing reams of words. There was a time when just talking about my fiction projects encouraged those around me. Now is not that time. Now there are several non-fiction projects begging me, imploring me to finish them. Rather than fight the clamoring, insisting I have to “finish the fiction project first,” I will accede. These are smallish projects. If I work on them consistently, I should be able to finish them in a couple of months. They could be a huge benefit for those who read them. Although they seem different than my heart’s desire (to craft characters with compelling stories that enchant and entertain), I do believe finishing them will address the true heart of my desires.

          Non-fiction, here I come.