A New Routine

Thought of another routine for writers: the routine eye exam. Had yours lately?

I’ve been wearing glasses since the fourth grade. The teacher complained about me being slow to copy things down, and then she caught me squinting. She dragged my desk closer to the front of the class until I could see. I was so embarrassed and had to go home with a note to my mom.

The only other kid I knew who wore glasses had been wearing them since Kindergarten. We didn’t even notice her glasses anymore. But everyone would notice when I got glasses.

I picked out frames that looked invisible to me. I thought that solved my problem. When I tried on a certain light-brown frame, they sort of blended into my face. Or so I thought. But remember, I couldn’t see clearly.

The first time I looked at myself in the mirror once my prescription lenses had been filled I just about died. You could see the frames! And they looked awful. The only reason I had chosen them was because I thought they blended in. Camouflage glasses.

So began my dislike of picking out frames. I’ve never really gotten over it.

This week I’ve been trying to find new frames. It’s pure torture for me and I’m such a baby about it. I thought I had found a pair until the assistant took a look and told me the frames were too big, that my eyes had to be centered in the lens, otherwise I could hurt my vision. Great. The glasses I’ve been wearing for the past four years were the same size. Where was this lady four years ago?

Shopping tip for buying glasses: (and this will speed things up for you!) Eyeglasses have a size stamped on them. I never knew this. Find the right size frame for your face, then just look for your number. You don’t have to waste your time trying on every single pair in the room. Some stores conveniently place the number on the tag so you can skim past the ones you don’t want. If the number isn’t listed (generally between 48 and 54, the ones I saw) you can find the number stamped on the bridge.

How has my search gone so far? Teaser: check out my Twitter post yesterday to see. (I haven’t bought them yet and you will see why.)—Okay, weird, but I don’t know how to link directly to my twitter page…and I thought it was such a fun tweet. Here it goes in under 140 characters:

Just as the wand chooses the wizard, so do the frames choose the eyes. But do they have to be $249 Coach frames, without lenses?