Programming note: Before we get on to Margie’s last blog with us, I just wanted to announce our second annual Author Crush Month. In honor of Valentines Day in February we are taking the entire month to have our favorite authors blog with us about their writing routines. (Use our search tool to find our “author crush” authors from last year!) It’s going to be a fantastic month, you won’t want to miss it.
Now, onto Margie Lawson! We are so going to miss her after this fabulous month of revision. In our behind-the scenes correspondence I’ve been calling it our Margie Extravaganza! Margie has been a joy to host. She is one hard-working lady! I know you have all benefited from her blogs this month. Here she is with her final word:
More Secrets to Writing Irresistible Fiction
MARGIE’S KILLER 5Q!
The Five Question Scene Checklist
My Five Question Scene Checklist is tough, tough, tough. It’s lethal.
I developed my Five Question Scene Check list (5Q) for writers to use as a tool to assess all the facets of Margie-style deep editing. That’s psychologically anchored deep editing.
If you know me, you know I’m a Deep Edit guru. I analyze people, books, characters, plot, writing craft . . . Analysis is my world.
Most of what I teach in my editing courses is what I’ve created. It’s not your 10th grade English teacher’s editing.
I dig deep into my 5Q in the Deep Editing course I teach on-line in May. The 5Q consists of five questions. It’s the subsets that are killers.
The multiple subset questions make you analyze, assess, probe, and justify each line, paragraph, page, and scene.
Margie’s Killer 5 Q:
The Five Question Scene Checklist
1—ANY MISSED OPPORTUNITIES?
Power Opening:
— Opening Hook?
— Anchored Reader in POV?
— Oriented Reader to Setting and Function?
— Used Cadence?
— Optional: Used Rhetorical Device?
— Made Opening Compelling in Other Ways? How?
Power Scene:
Fresh writing?
Nixed Clichés?
Specificity?
Characterization?
Character Description?
Cadence?
Pacing?
Flow?
Used Which Rhetorical Devices?
The EDITS System – Balance?
– Emotion?
– Dialogue?
– Internalizations?
– Tension?
– Setting?
– DABS: — Dialogue Cues
— Action
— Body Language
— Senses
MISSED OTHER OPPORTUNITIES to Add Power or Clarity?
Is dialogue character-specific? Tight? Natural? Sentence fragments?
Can you put NYT in the margin by a line or paragraph that is so stellar it will boost you toward the New York Times Bestseller list?
2— CAN YOU TIGHTEN THE PAGE, SCENE, CHAPTER?
Backstory?
Throw-away words?
Attributions?
Walking the Dog?
Could you delete a section and replace with a narrative line or paragraph, and still keep your reader hooked – and informed — and pick up the pace?
3— WHAT WOULD ENHANCE EMOTION?
Is the POV character’s emotional set shared with the reader. How? Where?
Add Power Words?
Backload?
Add more Body Language and Dialogue Cues? Specify:
Rewrite Body Language and Dialogue Cues to make them fresh?
Add more Visceral Responses? Write them fresh?
Add more Emotional Hits?
— Take Basics to Complex?
— Complex to Empowered?
Add Power Internalizations?
Does a Turning Point need to be Empowered?
Hook at end of scene or chapter?
4— HOW CAN YOU UP THE STAKES?
On every page, ask yourself, WHO CARES?
How can you make the problem count more?
Can you add a complication?
Can you make the situation worse?
Can you empower the writing to immerse the reader in the sentence? Paragraph? Page? Scene?
5—HOW DOES IT RATE?
1) Scrutinize each line. Do you need every word? Does every word work?
2) When each line passes inspection, place a red check mark in the right margin by the last word in that line.
Is every line checked?
3) RATE EACH PAGE: Choose 1 – 10, 10 being your best work. Write the number at the top of each page. Circle it. Is it a 10?
If you can’t give that page a TEN – Why not?
What do you need to add?
What do you need to delete?
JUSTIFY HOW YOU RATED IT.
If it doesn’t rate a 10, tweak it. Rewrite. Get tough. Rewrite again. Apply the 5Q again.
When you get it to a 9.7 – 10, KNOW WHY.
Be prepared to defend your rating with your critique partners.
BLOG GUESTS – ARE YOU STILL BREATHING?
Let’s dig deep into three excerpts. I’ll analyze the first one.
Here’s an amplified example from Harlan Coben, LONG LOST. My Deep Editing Analysis is below the example.
I was about to crack wise—something like “tell all your friends” or “sigh, another satisfied customer”—but something in her tone made me pull up. Something in her tone overwhelmed me and made me ache. I squeezed her hand and stayed silent and then I watched her walk away.
ANALYSIS:
1. Showed WHAT WASN’T HAPPENING, what he didn’t say
2. Uses DIALOGUE CUE – describes how the dialogue was delivered
3. SPECIFICITY – throughout the passage
4. Rhetorical Device – A DOUBLE. I made up that term – DOUBLE. SOMETHING IN HER TONE is an intentional echo. It’s almost the rhetorical device, anaphora — repetition of first word or phrases of three phrases or sentences in a row. Powerful.
5. Second part of the DOUBLE – goes DEEPER. Taps emotion.
6. TONE is used as a STIMULUS – and the reader gets FIVE RESPONSES from her TONE: pull up (stop), overwhelmed, ache, squeezed hand, stayed silent, watched her walk away (did not follow her)
7. POV character shared what he intended to do, but didn’t – because of her TONE.
8. Rhetorical Device: AMPLIFICATION: developed emotion and showed all those responses
9. COMMUNICATION with HAPTICS – touch
10. Rhetorical Device: POLYSYNDETON – Last sentence uses multiple conjunctions and no commas. Makes the read more imperative.
11. CADENCE – strong.
12. Show EMOTIONAL SET of POV character changing from playful to angst
13. TAPS EMOTION in reader
14. FRESH WRITING
15. HOOKED ME. DRAWS ME INTO THE STORY – Makes me want to read more.
Tana French, THE LIKENESS:
My hand was on the door handle when for a split second out of nowhere I was terrified, blue-blazing terrified, fear dropping straight through me like a jagged black stone falling fast. I’d felt this before, in the limbo instants before I moved out of my aunt’s house, lost my virginity, took my oath as a police officer: those instants when the irrevocable thing you wanted so much suddenly turns real and solid, inches away and speeding at you, a bottomless river rising and no way back once it’s crossed. I had to catch myself from crying out like a little kid drowning in terror, I don’t want to do this any more.
Robert Crais, THE TWO MINUTE RULE
Wally came over and touched Holman’s arm with fingers as light as a breath.
“He was killed last night. I’m sorry, man. I’m really, really sorry.”
Holman heard the words: he saw the pain in Wally’s eyes and felt the concern in Wally’s touch, but Wally and the room and the world left Holman behind like one car pulling away from another on a flat desert highway, Holman hitting the brakes, Wally hitting the gas, Holman watching the world race away.
That’s powerful writing.
It’s cotton-candy-on-your-tongue writing. It makes you want more and more and more.
It’s the caliber of writing you find in some New York Times Bestsellers. It’s the caliber of writing you will find in books by Harlan Coben, Tana French, and Robert Crais. 
))
BLOG GUESTS: It’s your turn! I’m giving you options.
Option One: Analyze the excerpt by Tana French or the one by Robert Crais. Share something Tana or Robert did right.
Option Two: Analyze the excerpt by Robert Crais. Share something Robert did right.
Option Three: Apply one or more questions from the 5Q to a page or a scene in your Work In Progress. What did you learn?
REQUEST:
I’d love to hear from you!
I’ll respond as time allows during my work day. I’ll be on-line in the evening (Mountain Time).
POST A COMMENT – AND YOU MAY WIN A LECTURE PACKET!
I will draw a name for a Lecture Packet, a $22 value, at 9PM Mountain Time. Winners may choose a Lecture Packet from one of my six on-line courses. Lecture Packets are available for all my courses through Paypal from my website, www.MargieLawson.com.
1. Empowering Characters’ Emotions
2. Deep Editing: The EDITS System, Rhetorical Devices, and More
3. Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist
4. Powering Up Body Language in Real Life:
Projecting a Professional Persona When Pitching and Presenting
5. Digging Deep into the EDITS System
6. Defeat Self-Defeating Behaviors
Margie Lawson —psychotherapist, writer, and international presenter—developed innovative editing systems and deep editing techniques for writers.
Her Deep Editing tools are used by all writers, from newbies to NYT Bestsellers. She teaches writers how to edit for psychological power, how to hook the reader viscerally, how to create a page-turner.
Over four thousand writers have learned Margie’s psychologically-based deep editing material. In the last five years, she presented fifty-four full day Master Classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.
Lectures from each of Margie’s on-line courses are offered as Lecture Packets through PayPal from her web site. For more information on courses, lecture packets, master classes, and 3-day Immersion Master Class sessions, visit: www.MargieLawson.com .
FYI: BRENDA NOVAK’S DIABETES AUCTION!
NYT Bestseller, Brenda Novak, donates an amazing chunk of her life to fundraising for diabetes research. She selflessly gives months of her energy, creativity, and what would have been writing time, family time, self-time to her DIABETES AUCTION.
For writers – it’s a warm-your-heart win-win. Bid on one of the hundreds of items – support diabetes research and you may win an experience that changes your life. A plotting lunch with an agent or NYT bestseller at a national conference could contribute to a contract for you.
If you’re not familiar with this auction — it’s a gold mine for writers!
My husband and I love to support the Diabetes Auction. With close to 1000 donations, if I don’t mention them . . . you might miss them.
Yikes – a Missed Opportunity!
Margie’s Donations:
1. A set of six Lecture Packets
2. A 50 page Triple Pass Deep Edit Critique
3. Registration for a Write At Sea Master Class by Marge Lawson on Deep Editing Power, April 4 -8, 2011; donation by Margie Lawson and Julia Hunter
4. A FLYING GETAWAY FOR TWO
You select the destination – any place within 600 nautical miles from Denver.
A weekend, you and a friend, plus my pilot-husband flying our four-seater plane, me, and a two-hour deep editing consult. The consult is on the ground.
THE DIABETES AUCTION runs from MAY 1ST to MAY 31ST. You can tour the
Diabetes Auction site now. http://brendanovak.auctionanything.com/
Brenda Novak is my hero. What a way to give back.
Thank you for your time – and thank you for joining us today!
All smiles…………Margie
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59 users responded in this post
Oh my god, this is so amazing. Now I will have to take Margie’s class. Can’t resist anymore. Thanks Shonna for doing the excellent host author event.
I pick Option 1
The character’s emotions made me instantly sympathize with her, and the example she uses are so everyday – moving out of a home, losing virginity, that they have universal identification.
It’s also hooked me, and I want to read more to find out what door is that, and what will happen when she opens it. What doesn’t she want to do? Since she mentioned being a police officer, it also makes me wonder if she is at a suspect’s house, and suddenly has an instinct of danger. So again, I want to read more to find out if I am right.
The cadence is beautiful. Sentences move in a rhythm that makes me feel what the character is feeling. I empathize with her, and I think that’s what Tana did perfectly. Her writing connected a reader to her world.
I’m breathless with the depth of the editing process. Thank you Margie for your insight!
Wow, Margie — along with all my notes from your Defeating Self Defeating Behavior lectures, this post is a keeper! It has come at a perfect time, as I deep dive into my own manuscript (which is finally getting additional chapters after five YEARS of stalling)… you truly are an empowering teacher!
Beth writing as Jenna Victoria
luncheonchair@gmail.com
As always Margie, your suggestions are so amazing helpful. Must go edit!
margaret
I’m hoping to start edits soon and this checklist is awesome. Revising will take a while so I can apply the empowering character emotion stuff I learned last year. Can’t wait for the Deep Editing workshop. I’ve heard raves about it, and I think I really need it.
Hi Margie!
I have printed this so I can post at my desk and be in my face and am also taging a copy on my thumb drive that I take with me everywhere for when I have some extra time to work on my MS.
I want to read this every day before I review/revise what I wrote the day before. You have a treasure of gems here!
-Courtney
For me, what both did right was anchoring the action in emotion. Making the reader not just understand what was happening, but feel it.
I learned so much this weekend. Thank you again!
Margie, you never fail to provide new insights into the writing process. Thanks so much!
Thanks Margie for more gold! after spending last weekend with you I didn’t think there could be anymore, but it looks as if you are a never-ending goldmine!
Teri
Tana gets her “show don’t tell” right. During this paragraph she gives insight into the character’s background as well as her present state of mind.
Margie, thanks for excellent teaching – again.
Margie, Thanks to your EDITS class, I was able to spot Robert’s epistrophe right away. Being an “ing” person myself, I have to watch it, but his use of Name, followed by an “ing” verb, followed by “the” article, and a noun has a nice cadence to it. The last part, ‘race away,’ trailing the last phrase enhances the concept of ‘race away,’ in an almost lingering manner on the tongue. I also liked the ‘w’ alliteration in watching the world.
I recently received feedback from an agent who loved my hero but had a hard time identifying with my heroine because of the plot. Unsure of how to fix the problem without destroying the storyline, I let it sit.
Then, this last weekend, Margie’s workshop happened.
After highlighting a zillion pages to verify my balance was correct, I went looking for missed opportunities to replace overused phrases with fresh writing. Found several. Then I inserted an instance of touch, deepened voice cue information, fixed almost-there conduplicatio and anaphora devices, powered up a few of my figurative language, and upped the stakes by adding several emotional hits to passages that needed to be more impactful. I ended by changing two of the bland “smiles” to ones that added a lot of characterization without killing my word count.
Ten hours later, I’m still shocked at the difference. My heroine is a changed woman. Identifiable. Worthy of empathy and interest, despite her unusual circumstances.
If you get the chance to take Margie’s workshop, do. Your manuscript and everyone who reads it will thank you
After spending the weekend in your workshop I am feeling enlightened and empowered and excited about my writing again.
I just wish I could work on all of my projects at once because I keep thinking of ways each of them could benefit.
On the other hand, you’ve added to my TBR list in a big way. I think I need a clone.
Thanks Margie!
If you are staring at a manuscript and wondering which direction to go – the bottom of a drawer or the shredder try the FQ and Deep EDITS. You will be amazed at the revelations you’ll experience.
After using Deep EDITS on my first manuscript I entered a contest with a book so new to the page the ink was still tacky. I won out of thirty-four entries! Thanks to Margie’s EDITS and 5Q’s I’m a better writer the first time.
No this doesn’t mean you’ll never have to edit again…improvement is always available to all of us:)
Thanks so much for all the help, it’s a lot, but I know my writing will benefit so much from opening myself up to these queues. I’m looking forward to your class at Writer University, I’ll be taking it!
Danielle
What an insight into the writing/editing process. Thank you so much, Margie!
Thanks again, Margie. Just when I think I’ve come to a dead-end in my writing, you uncover a new door and show me the way.
One more from this last weekend’s workshop: I’m so glad we brought you to Portland, Margie. I don’t need rah-rah workshops. I need a workshop that helps me take a great idea that isn’t quite carrying its weight on the page to one that emotionally impacts in just the perfect way.
Right now I’m exploring ways to give a story told partially in letters more immediacy and emotional impact. The letters are very important, but they certainly are limiting! If you have any ideas, I’m listening.
Margie, do you usually use the 5 Qs after you’ve written the first draft, or do you use it as a planning tool?
OMGosh, what an amazing post! I’m printing this out so I can take it all in. Thanks so much!
Holy cow! I have printed this list and tucked it safely in my notebook to pull out when needed.
Thank you Margie!
This series of posts has been so useful as I begin my rewriting/editing stages of my manuscript… thanks so much!
Thank you so much for sharing some of your fantastic writing tips this month, Margie! Your lecture packets are definitely going on my must have list!
I just love it when a scene comes together.
Great tips, Margie, and thanks for the reminder about Brenda Novak’s annual diabetes auction. I’m putting it in my tickler file!
Margie,
More powerful tools to improve our writing! Thank you! At the Portland Workshop last weekend, you answered the questions I couldn’t quite give voice to – the questions that lurked in my peripheral vision when I read my work. You will definitely be mentioned in the credits of my first published book! Thanks you, thank you, thank you!
Margie, as always, I love your insight. Your classes have really helped my awareness of what works and why as well as allowed me to take my writing up a notch. I’m determined to be a NYT Best-Selling Author, one whose foundation is cemented in Margie’s fabulous classes.
Take care and may 2010 be filled with blessings!
Sincerely,
Diana Cosby, AGC(AW), USN Ret.
Romance Edged With Danger
Once again, thank you, Margie! I will be taking more of your classes.
Great refresher course. I need to dig out my
EDITS lectures and reread them.
LOVE your courses, Margie.
Terri O
Margie’s workshop is the BEST I’ve ever taken. I learned more from her about editing in a few hours than I can even comprehend. I still pull out her notes and now, thanks to this, I have more!
Margie, is “walking the dog” those paragraphs that describe mundane life and don’t move the story forward?
Thanks,
Terri P
HELLO EVERYBODY!
You all WOW’d me with your comments. Thank you!
I wish I had three spare hours right now so I could respond to each of you.
Great comments.
Great to see you!
Great insights too.
Plus — I enjoy saying, “Hi! Thanks for sharing and making me smile.”
I’ll add a SPECIAL HELLO to all the writers I met in Portland this last weekend. I stretched brains for two full days — and I enjoyed working with them so much, I hated to leave Portland.
Those writers had an impact on me . . . because I’m passionate about my love for Colorado.
I’m sitting in a library parking lot in Denver–getting a hit of WiFi before my hour-long drive up the mountain. I need to hit the road. Cliche alert!
I will post several more comments tonight.
PLEASE CHECK BACK LATER TONIGHT! I’ll announce the winner — and chat some more from home.
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
A BIG REQUEST FROM MARGIE –
I’m featuring a new author on my How-to Author Series on my blog tomorrow. His name is Phil Yaffe, he wrote for the Wall Street Journal, and has a how-to book coming out soon: The Gettysburg Approach to Writing & Speaking Like a Professional.
My REQUEST — Please drop by and say HI to Phil!
He makes some excellent points for fiction writers in the interview I’m posting tomorrow.
Hope to see you on my blog tomorrow!
THANKS!
Awesome workshop this weekend!
What I learned:
Our words have to work and work and work. Every time our words slack off, we miss the opportunity to communicate with our readers, to force our story pictures into their heads, to wrench their hearts just a little bit harder.
Thanks, again, Margie!
HELLO LOST WANDERER –
Good analysis of Tana French’s passage from IN THE WOODS. I love her writing too.
I’m sure you noticed her FRESH WRITING.
My hand was on the door handle when for a split second out of nowhereI was terrified, blue-blazing terrified, fear dropping straight through me like a jagged black stone falling fast.
WHAT IS BLUE-BLAZING TERRIFIED?
It’s fresh, fresh, fresh. And fresh writing boosts you toward the NYT bestseller list.
I’m betting she wanted big-time power with alliteration and cadence. It worked well for me.
Thank you for sharing your analysis.
Hello Breathless Amy!
Yay! You are intrigued with the power of Deep Editing. Smart!
Hello Beth-writing-as-Jenna!
I know you’ll be digging deep and learning all the intricacies of DEEP EDITING – as much as your brain can stretch.
You’re uber-smart too!
Margs —
Hope you had a masterful editing day!
Cindy –
Glad you are adding power to your WIP with what you learned in Empowering Characters’ Emotions. I teach DEEP EDITING: The EDITS System, Rhetorical Devices, and More in May. If you can’t wait that long, you could opt for the Lecture Packet.
Have fun with your revisions!
What a fantastic workshop you gave in Portland! Finally, I got to meet you and hear you speak in person. You are such a darling!
Taking both your masterclass on “Emotion/EDITS” and the online class of “Defeat Self-Defeating Behaviors” is giving my writing a powerful boost. Margie, I can’t thank you enough for this incredible enhancement to my writing. I now how to use emotion in my stories.
The most important thing I learned is that a writer can empower her story by carefully digging deep into its heart and soul to mine its inherent treasure, word by word, line by line. It’s the content (i.e theme, plot, characters) that inspires the rhetorical devices, emotional hits, dialogue cues, and cliche twisting that will propel a story from mediocre to outstanding NYT stature.
What a magnificent “A-ha” insight!!! Thank you so much, Margie!
Hello Courtney!
Sounds like you’ve been bitten and smitten by the Deep Editing addiction bug. Me too.
It’s a good-for-your-writing bug.
HELLO JENNA B-B from Portland!
I had such a fabulous time with you all in Portland!
Yep. Those authors use what I teach in my writing craft courses to immerse the reader in the POV character’s emotional set.
You can do it too.
My head is whirling. I am at college-level thinking. I like it.
HELLO WHAT-IF GIRL!
It’s graduate and post-masters level.
I taught undergrad, masters level, and post-masters degree courses. My courses for writers are definitely at the masters and post-masters level.
Wish I could award college level credits to writers who completed my on-line courses and Immersion Master Class sessions.
Thank you! Glad your brain is happy.
I’m another from the fabulous weekend workshop in Portland! All I can say is that it was fantastic and I’m still sorting it all out in my mind.
Barb
HELLO TERI BROWN!
So fun to meet and chat and hug this weekend.
And — lots more gold. I promise.
I already signed up! As soon as I posted the comment I went to sign up. Didn’t want to forget.
Margie, you are so awesome! Stephanie, Shonna and I just had our weekly conference call and we’re pumped to re-start together our Deep Edits lecture packet. Yay! Then I thought about that Defeating SDB lecture I bought and never read – reading it right now! AWESOME! I found an unused journal, cleaned my desk, and am sharpening my saw. Thank You, God, for Margie!! It’s going to be a GREAT week!
Thanks so much!!
Lots of love and hugs to you!
Kitty
HELLO EVERYONE!
YIKES! This was my LAST POST for Routine’s For Writers.
I will miss you all!
A HUGE THANK YOU to Shonna, Stephanie, and Kitty for inviting me to be their guest. It was my kind of FUN!
An extra big hug goes to Shonna for setting up my blogs and making them look so good.
I wanted to have TWO WINNERS – and I have two winners. But when I pulled TWO SLIPS OF PAPER from my big wooden salad bowl, I read the same first name on both pieces of paper.
Our two winners are Terri P and Teri B.
CONGRATULATIONS TO TERRI AND TERI!
Terri and Teri – Please e-mail me and let me know which Lecture Packet you would like.
You can read the course descriptions for all SIX of my Lecture Packets on my website: http://www.MargieLawson.com
I look forward to connecting with you all on-line again. If you have questions about my courses or Lecture Packets, you can contact me through my web site.
Oh — Remember my DARE DEVIL DACHSHUND CONTEST!
You may win one hour of my deep editing brain!
Wishing you all Happy Deep Editing!……..Margie
Margie, you are a rock star. We had a blast with you this month.
Kitty and Shonna and Stephanie –
So cool that you three are going to do a group dive into your Deep Editing Lecture Packets. Sounds like you are setting yourselves up for big-time success!
Kitty — Enjoy taking charge of your writing life with DSDB!
Happy Hugs to the three of you!
All smiles…………Margie
I’m late but had to post anyway! What a fabulous checklist. It’s truly terrifying but in a good way.
Thanks for everything, Margie!!
Julie B –
Ah — you like my terrifying-in-a-good-way scene checklist. Cool!
Thanks for chiming in even though you were too late for the drawing.
All smiles………..Margie
Vonnie –
Your insight is as accurate as it is eloquent.
VONNIE WROTE:
The most important thing I learned is that a writer can empower her story by carefully digging deep into its heart and soul to mine its inherent treasure, word by word, line by line. It’s the content (i.e theme, plot, characters) that inspires the rhetorical devices, emotional hits, dialogue cues, and cliche twisting that will propel a story from mediocre to outstanding NYT stature.
What a magnificent “A-ha” insight!!! Thank you so much, Margie!
VONNIE — THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR INSIGHT. IT’S PERFECT.
BIG HUGS………….MARGIE
Hey Margie, a bit late here. I ran across your blog by accident OH NO AN ALMOST missed opportunity. HUgs and thank for posting the five. I needed them as I have a wip I hope to enter in a major contest. I sent the link to the blog to my critique partner telling her we need to use these things to look over our work when we send it to each other. I hope to take your class again I think if I keep taking them eventually they will sink in and become second nature to me. Hope to see you in July in Nashville.
Ain’t she the bee’s knees!!
Hey, Margie! I know I’m late but just saw the announcement and wanted to drop by anyway.
Cher
Love the advice. Thanks so much for sharing! And I’d love to win another lecture packet!!
This is excellent advice. Thank you~
I’m coming in really late, and your blog is awesome. I’m doing the first round of revisions on my WIP, and I see I’m doing much of this. So, Margie, your lessons are sinking into my brain!
I’m off to your blog now, though I see I’m late there too.
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